blehhhh

so ive turned seventeen now. and i dont really know. its kindof stupid. its a really dumb age. your not an adult and everyone expects you to be like one but your legally not one and you get treated like a little kid. its a pretty retarded age. i dont get how anyone could like this age. its so awkward. and i just realized i have not done one of these in a while. but im watching that seventies show like a cool kid and stuff. and my phone broke again. i first got my phone and it was working well for a while and then after like a month it started freezeing really bad and then the touch screen just compleatly stopped working. so i took it in to get it fixed and they just rebooted it and it worked alright for another like month and then it happened again so i waited for a couple hours and then the touch screen worked and then i didnt get any service no matter what. and when i would turn it off and then turn it back on, the bars went down like five....four.....three....two....one....and then nothing. so they gave me another phone but it was the same one. and i just got it a month ago, and it only got dropped twice. and today the touch screen stopped working again. and this was a brand new one. and its so stupid. i really hope when i go in tomorrow that they give me a different phone. i seriously never had any luck with lg phones. they are absolutly terrible /: oh well. goodnight who ever actually reads this.

choir and junk

so today we were at choir rehersal and we were practicing our festival peices and weve been working really hard on everything and trying to get it perfect. and at my school we have this marble entrence and everything in there just sounds awesome no matter what you do. and we sang this song called sicut cervus in there and its in like latin or some crap and our director gave us a tempo to sing too and she had us close our eyes and sing and she just stood back and listened. and we ended up making her cry in a good way and she told us how no other choir shes had has ever made her cry like that. and it just made us all feel awesome and at first she thought we could never even sing that song and we pulled through. thank god. i just hope we do well tomorrow.

well, what a bitter sweet day......

so today has really been bitter sweet. i sortof recently started dating this guy jacob and he is literally the guy of my dreams. i love him more than anything and he treats me right. and today i really really wanted to hangout with him because we dont always get to hangout just us. and before my stepmom left for a little bit, she told me that she could give him a ride home so i told him and all he had to do is find a way here. and his uncle said he could give him a ride over here and i guess i took a little to long getting ready and his uncle ended up not being able to bring him over here. and almost right when his uncle left i was finally ready but he wasnt going back over there. so i called my friend liam to see if he could give him a ride over here and he did and then my stepmom went out for a little bit. and frequently throughout the day i asked my stepmom if she could give him a ride home still and she kept saying yes so we thought everything was ok. and about an hour or two before he had to go home, she called me and decided to tell me that she couldnt give him a ride home because she had been drinking and then i had to call my dad and tonight he was working late and i had to call him to see if he would be able to give him a ride home after he got home from work. and thank god he was able too. so even though hes never allowed over again it was nice spending almost the whole day with him. i think it ended up making us closer. i love him so much. im so happy his mom isnt mad at me.

boys are asses.

boys are seriously retarded. when you say anything that makes compleat sense and they know it does but to make you look like an idiot they try to pick out way and twist it to where it dosnt make any sense. they are so stupid if they actually think there not going to notice. they are compleat idiots. i hate my life. i hate boys. i hate everything and i wish this world would just end before its to late.

love suck.....

so i have come to the conclusion that love sucks. because no matter how much you care about someone they will never care about you as much back. and i know most of you are probly thing your just a kid, you dont know what love is. but i do. trust me i know what love is. i know im in love with someone and have been for a really long time. and it makes me sad that he tells me he loves me but i no longer trust it. i know no not to trust anyone anymore and i dont think i will because trusting people has just ruined everything becaue everyone has broke n my trust and it sadens me that everyone is just that mean and terrible. so yea. i just hope the guy that i love knows that i love him and i hope he knows that im talking about him. and that i hope hes always going to be in my heart.

random rambleings.

so it uhhh sucks being single. especially at my age. all guys care about is sex. its so dumb. i know this probly dosnt make any sense since im a virgin but i dont find sex appealing at all unless its with a person you absolutly love with all your heart. but all they do is just go around and fuck. there like forest creatures. its disturbing. they really dont even deserve to be introduced to the dang light untill they have matured enough. there like dogs. you have to feed them and clean them and take care of them and most of them dont even know there sexuality yet so they pretty much make you be the guy in the relationship. it just sucks. sorry for my random rambleings.

/:

so today i went to church and i felt alot better about myself. it was fun. i actually sang the songs and they were very nice. and i met some pretto cool people. and i had a very good time. and theres this guy that i like that i go to church with. and ive liked him for a while. and he pretty much told me that he loved me a few days ago and i thought he was serious. and then today i tried talking to him at church and he didnt really talk to me. and it kindof made me sad. so i started to text him when we went to tim hortons after church and i was just being stupid and saying random things to him. then i said he hated me and i was just messing around. and then he said that he did. and i thought he was kidding too but i guess he wasnt. and then i asked him if he still liked me and he said no. and i asked him why and he said because hes a man whore. and that really made me feel bad. i feel absolutly terrible right now. i thought he was serious and that he really did like me. i thought he wasnt just one of the other guys that wanted to use me. but i guess i was wrong. thats all that ever seems to happen to me. i always get pushed to the side and ignored. i hate it. if all these other girls get to be with such great guys then why cant i? why cant there just be one guy that will love me and care for me and not be mean? i guess ill just never find that right person. i should be use to it by now. ill just............i dont know.