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so today i went to church and i felt alot better about myself. it was fun. i actually sang the songs and they were very nice. and i met some pretto cool people. and i had a very good time. and theres this guy that i like that i go to church with. and ive liked him for a while. and he pretty much told me that he loved me a few days ago and i thought he was serious. and then today i tried talking to him at church and he didnt really talk to me. and it kindof made me sad. so i started to text him when we went to tim hortons after church and i was just being stupid and saying random things to him. then i said he hated me and i was just messing around. and then he said that he did. and i thought he was kidding too but i guess he wasnt. and then i asked him if he still liked me and he said no. and i asked him why and he said because hes a man whore. and that really made me feel bad. i feel absolutly terrible right now. i thought he was serious and that he really did like me. i thought he wasnt just one of the other guys that wanted to use me. but i guess i was wrong. thats all that ever seems to happen to me. i always get pushed to the side and ignored. i hate it. if all these other girls get to be with such great guys then why cant i? why cant there just be one guy that will love me and care for me and not be mean? i guess ill just never find that right person. i should be use to it by now. ill just............i dont know.